A letter to my late childhood friend Mimi

I suppose the only place to start is in your laughter. Actually, it's more in your inflection - "JENNAA!!" In your sincerity, your intentionality, your unrestrained vivaciousness.... yet it's more than that. Mimi you lit up our worlds, starting as little girls. I remember finding solace in your presence, comfort, understanding, loyalty, heart. It was tough to keep up with our friends sometimes, and yet you never made me feel anything less than included and loved. You always looked inside, you always knew what mattered. You were my sweet, mischievous curly haired friend I always wanted to be around. The one who made me feel held emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, artistically. These are the qualities I hold core to my beliefs as a coach. And here I am finding you connected to the origin of it. You made me feel free, as I know you made others feel too. I really thought you did too, and I'm sorry we misunderstood. You gave so much to all of us in that way. I'll find comfort in knowing you are free now, barefoot in costumes, giggling close to the surface on the other side. But for now, this side feels a little less vibrant, a little less sparkly, and a little less special without you in it. Give us some time and we will continue living into the seeds you've planted.

I want you to know, I understand. I love you old friend, I always have. I wanted to know more. I've always been curious about you, Mim. How do you let go the way you do? How do you laugh and play the way you do? How do you be you the way you do? Don't you know you helped so many of us be more of that? And so much more. So so so much more. It's painful to try to find the words because the depth goes so far. You were beyond imagination, beyond what anyone could articulate. Your presence could only be felt not articulated. Which maybe is why it was so hard to show you how we felt. Those of us who knew you well felt all of those indescribable special feelings being around you. Only art and love can show you want we mean. 

I imagine that forever when I think of you I will think of the times we played outside when we were little. The times we played outside with nature and light, dressed up and laughing at every single thing. I always looked up to you. I was impressed by your demeanor. Your confidence and effortless playful lovability. I will always admire that spirit in you.

I hope to honor you Mimi by celebrating your spirit moving forward. You were a little bit more than human to me than most. You had gifts and sight that went far beyond. I want to access a little more of that. Your pixy dust from another dimension. From the clothes I wear to the words I use, I will carry your playful spirit in my heart. By letting go just a little bit more, to never forget to laugh and dream. One idea to start, I hope to sing people's names loudly across the street like you always did, to remind them how big love can be.